Olizza's Rules of Engineering

A Practical Guide to Engineering, Applied Interdimensional Mechanics, and Avoiding Entirely Preventable Catastrophes

Engineering is a precise science.

It requires patience, careful observation, rigorous testing, and the ability to confidently explain why whatever just exploded was supposed to do that.

Through extensive field research, Olizza Oopsieboom has developed the following rules.

They are presented here for the benefit of future engineers.

Olizza accepts no responsibility for their application.

Rule #1

If it doesn't work, add more power.

Rule #2

If adding more power doesn't work, add magic.

Olizza disputes the terminology.

Rule #3

If adding magic doesn't work, summon something.

Again, terminology remains under review.

Rule #4

Never ask where the imp got the matches.

There are questions science is not yet prepared to answer.

Rule #5

If a portal opens unexpectedly, write down what you touched immediately beforehand.

This information becomes surprisingly difficult to reconstruct after an explosion.

Rule #6

Mining your own materials is considerably cheaper when your experiments consume this much copper.

Applied Interdimensional Mechanics is not a well-funded field.

Rule #7

If something explodes but nobody dies, it was a successful prototype.

Success is a matter of clearly defined parameters.

Rule #8

If something explodes and somebody does die, further testing is required.

One experiment is not a sufficient sample size.

Rule #9

Never admit that you have absolutely no idea what that button does.

Just press it.

For science.

Rule #10

Before beginning any dangerous experiment, confirm all necessary equipment is operational, all demons are accounted for, and Sup has recently used the bathroom.

This rule was added following extensive field testing in Westfall.

It is now considered mandatory.

Important Safety Notice

These rules have been developed through extensive practical experimentation by Olizza Oopsieboom, Engineer Specializing in Applied Interdimensional Mechanics.

Some experiments resulted in fire.

Some resulted in portals.

Some resulted in demons.

Several resulted in death.

At least one involved a Cozy Sleeping Bag.

All results were scientifically valuable.

Research continues.

For science. 🔧🐿️💥